The Seemingly Undetectable Barbed Wire of Bridesmaid Dresses … and Coffins

Interesting day. And really for no other reason than my being stuck in a bridesmaid dress for 10 minutes. The girl who was helping me was sweet and cool, very much not like your typical stuck up bridal shop employee who has somehow convinced herself that you will steal a giant, 15 pound bridal gown if she doesn’t keep an eye on you. So this cool bridal shop employee was asking me if I was okay … I said yes. I mean I didn’t want to get in trouble for the stuck zipper! But I finally managed to get out of it … after a Jedi-esque force came to me and I had to make the zipper descend down its tiny, toothy track with my mind …

And I kept mistakenly picking out maternity dresses! But they were far cuter and classic than the non-maternity dresses. To accomodate a pregnant orb they were empire waist of course … and flowy. They looked so … Shakespearean. Or at least Elizabethan. Very cool. I had a moment that I felt like Lady MacBeth and I swear if I was sure no one was around I so would have belted out the “Unsex me here” soliloquy.

And I liked the long marternity dress best … and the girl said she thought it “looked cool even though I am not preggers” (paraphrasing but “preggers” is a direct quotation) … I believed her. She was sincere. It was nice and refreshing. This was also the dress that I was stuck in and I thought since this dress and I had already had a moment … a tough moment we got through together basically unscathed is a good sign. And the chick at the shop had a great point. I said to her … do you think it is some weird sign or omen or something I am gravitating toward maternity dresses? She said no, walking away with a flow of chiffon following her saying over her shoulder: “I’d worry if you were picking out coffins.”

Published in: on February 7, 2007 at 10:01 pm  Leave a Comment  

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